New Flavors

This post is all about snacking...
I mean it.

When you're bored, or lonely, or up too late playing Facebook Scrabble: that's when it's time for a snack. I didn't make this up--it's one of the few universal truths. Snacking is comforting. Not just for fat people, either. For everybody!

Japanese 'snacks.'

When it's time to snack, I go out and get on my bike and ride to the 'Kyuu Kyuu' store, which is open 24 hours a day. Kyuu means 9, so if you're smart than you know that everything is 99 yen at the 'Kyuu Kyuu.' Something to note about the 'Kyuu Kyuu'--they play the same song on loop in there forever. The song is the 'Kyuu Kyuu' theme song, which consists of a chorus of tinny-voiced women saying "kyuu kyuu kyuu kyuu" over and over. It's no wonder most of the employees want to die (you can see it in their sad eyes.)

'Shop Kyuu-Kyuu, Kyuu Kyuu Kyuu Kyuu Kyuu Kyuu'

But there is a grave problem with snacking in Japan as a result of a phenomenon I've cleverly named "Snack Disappointment." It's when you're disappointed in your snack, dudes, and it's a terrible thing.

Here's the scenario: You just finished the season finale of Survivor: Guatemala on TV Links, and, given your apparent disappointment/outrage at Danni having won the million, you want to snack away that sadness. So you get on your bike and let your knuckles get chapped in the early-fall cold in order to get to the 'Kyuu Kyuu.' You pick up some chips and a drink, give it to the dead-inside employee, and then step outside. On the ride home, you hum the 'Kyuu Kyuu' song, or sing it, because you know all the words. Upon returning home you break open your bag of chips and have a look in, and they seem to be flecked with green and white. Of course you think "Sour Cream and Onion, all right dude!" and take a bite. But of course, it's nothing so delicious. Instead it's 'Seaweed and Salmon Roe' flavor. Then you want to wash away that taste so you take a big swig of whatever drink you bought. You pop open the can and tip it up, and there's another surprise: it's not a drink at all, but gelatin in a can. You bought Mango-Persimmon Jello to wash down your Saweed and Salmon Roe chips.

This 'something' has tentacles.

Now this isn't the worst thing in the world. The chips are, after all, not that bad--and who doesn't like Jello? So usually it's all eaten in a few minutes, and you sit back down on the computer with a full belly. But you're not satisfied. Even though you're no longer hungry, you're not satisfied, and that's what snaking is about: satisfaction. But you can't go out and buy a new snack, because you're full, and you already heard the 'Kyuu Kyuu' song, and you don't want to put your shoes back on, duh.

The problem may be variety. They have so many snacks to choose from, and all the flavors are new and foreign. For example, aloe is a flavor here. Aloe, you guys. I had some aloe yogurt the other day, and it tasted like aloe. Gross. Also, the beer snack of choice here is salted and dried Cuttlefish. All the Japanese people know the English word for Cuttlefish--probably because they have had to explain so many times to foreigners what dried, tentacled monster they were eating with their Asahii: Super Dry.



When I first got here, I was addicted to new flavors. I was surprised and delighted when it turned out the Ice Cream bar I thought was Mint Chocolate was really Green Tea. But after a while, I find myself in need of something familiar. I want to eat the freezer-burned Vanilla Ice Cream that's always in my freezer. I want to make cheap, fake, Americanized Ramen and eat it on a couch (P.S. they don't have couches here, and who would have imagined that that was going to be a problem?)

The more perceptive among you will say 'Snack Disappointment' is a manifestation of Homesickness, but I'm unwilling to admit that I'm home-sick yet, so I'll just continue to make my snack-selection based on which bag is represented by the cutest mascot. But sometimes, that's a tough choice, too...

This is adorable or terrifying.

In closing, my Facebook Scrabble letters just happened to spell "o yeah," and that's some kind of sign from God I'm unable interpret. I hope it means "go play Gameboy," because that's what I'm going to do.

Goodnight.

-cwa